I can assure you all these studies are leading somewhere, just not in a straight line!
After the previous pastel studies it was time to return to painting only this time to a larger scale:
Acrylics Feeling #1, acrylics on paper, 590x420cm.
The intention was negative feeling, but still difficult to actually put a name to it.
As I painted this in a "free" abstract manner, direct from my subconscious, it struck me just how much it resembled paintings by Joan Mitchell. Now that can't be bad, so I continued in a similar vein:
Acrylics Feeling #3, acrylics on paper, 590x420cm.
Trying to be happier with jollier colouring.
Acrylics Feeling #4, acrylics on paper, 590x420cm.
Definitely negative feeling, intended to be 'despair'.
Acrylics Feeling #5, acrylics on paper, 590x420cm.
And then back to being jolly. No wonder I'm confused - it's like a roller-coaster of emotion, one minute high then the next minute deep in depression! Just as well I'm only acting out these feelings and not actually suffering from them. Otherwise I would be getting carted away a jibbering wreck!
Acrylics Feeling #6, acrylics on paper, 590x420cm.
Finally, feelings of love: flushed with reds and pinks with royal blue.
And can you see it?
To me there are semblances of faces rising from the interlacing mesh of these last two.
That's enough for one day, more to follow tomorrow.